Polishing the Past

  • Post category:Writing

As I’ve been archiving the older fanfics, I’ve found that I can’t help revising some of them. I was trying to be good and keep them as historical markers of how far I’ve come (and how good I can be), but… yeah, I can’t help it!

*tweaks and tunes and chainsaws the fics into better shape*

So for your amusement (and to keep a bit of history alive), here’s what one of those fics look like with a before and after! 🙂

Come Sail Away : 100 words
Written Jun. 29th, 2006 for dw100 Challenge #112: Here We Go Again, but revised and updated… because reasons.

The original from Jun. 29th, 2006

Sometimes they said no.

It happened more often in the beginning, when he was less polished in his roles. When the invitations had seemed less whimsical, and more complex. His words held more weight back then, until he’d learned to lessen the overtones of time and age that leached like water through sand. He was the ocean, deep and dark and dangerous, and they left him on the shore. In time he learned to hide it, bury his self in the depths of the sea, and when he asked them now, “Would you like to come along?”

She said yes.


The revised version

Sometimes they said no.

It happened more often in the beginning, when he was less polished in playing roles and his invitations seemed contrived instead of whimsical. His words held weight back then, seeped in waves of borrowed nightmares.

They said no until he’d learned to lessen the undertow of wars and age that leached past his facades. He was bound to time’s ocean, deep and dark and dangerous, and they left him on the shore.

So he learned to hide, bury his self in shallower seas, and when he asked “Do you wanna come with me?”

She said yes.

Martha Bechtel

My name is Martha Bechtel and I write fantasy and science fiction stories, paint small model horses silly colors, cast resin and plaster magnets, code random code (and Wordpress plugins)... Come on in and join in the fun!

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