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Originally Posted: Dec. 29th, 2006
Length/Rating: 217 words, PG, Gen
Pairing/Warnings: none
Summary: We now return to our irregularly scheduled broadcast…

“STARGATE ATLANTIS”, “STARGATE SG-1” and other related entities are owned, (TM) and © by MGM TELEVISION and DOUBLE SECRET PRODUCTION in association with GEKKO FILMS and THE SCIFI CHANNEL. All rights reserved. No copyright infringement is intended nor implied.

Narrator: In search of ‘Really Big Omelettes’–
Rodney (from a distance): ZPMS!
Narrator: –our intrepid adventurers return to the jungle planet M7G-512…

[Loud growling sounds, radio static and a slight cave-like echo accompany each comment]

Matt: You know, this would make a pretty good movie.
Ant: Wait, what?
Matt: Seriously, I mean we have a dragon–
Stephen: Yangchuanosaurus.
Matt: –a dragon and a maiden in distress–
Stephen: Amy is hardly–
Amy (from a distance): Hey!
Stephen: –in distress.
Ant: Good save.
Matt (louder): –a maiden in potential distress–
Amy: Only if you keep shouting like that.
Matt: I’m not shouting!
Yangchuanosaurus: Grrr!
Matt: Shit.
Amy: A dragon and three farmboys in distress.
Trish: And one cavalry. [Insert appropriate zoom-zoom jumper-saving-the-day noises here] Come on boy, lookit the jumper, good little Yangchu-whatzits.
Stephen: Not to spoil the moment Trish, but since when can you fly jumpers?
John: I’d be the one flying the jumper; she’d be the one leaning out the back dangling half a cow in front of– whoops, [loud teeth-on-metal noises and enthusiastic muffled cursing from Trish] bad dragon, no eating the cavalry.
Matt: I told you we needed more C4.

Narrator: Imaginary Gate Team Five, brought to you by Joe’s Dino Chow: Recommended by four out of five paleozoologists. Now in new five ton bags!