Three Tequila, Floor : The Ides of April

Wordcount: 1,006 words
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: Spring semester is drawing to a close and nothing compliments finals as well as Approaching Doom™

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The Ides of April

Samantha hated being cold as much as she hated studying, so it had taken an unseasonably warm spring day and the promise of serious goofing off later before Jack managed to drag her into the sun for their Friday study session. Well, partial sun anyway.

Sam was half-hidden in her battered gray hoodie and sunglasses shaded her eyes from what light filtered through the newly be-leafed trees and down to the picnic tables. Jack couldn’t tell if she was actually reading her Sociology textbook or napping, but at least she was pretending.

Which was pretty decent for a Friday before noon.

Or any day before noon, to be honest.

Jack had his own pile of Theology notes to chew through. Midterms were over, but finals were getting a bit too close for comfort. He’d never been much good at term papers so the sooner he got this monster outlined, the better. Everything he needed was spread out on the table– normally he’d already be a few pages into a draft, but it was harder to concentrate that he’d expected with Fluffy nearby.

Thanks to the lingering effects of the werewolf bite he could still catch glimpses of the unicorn as it wandered, nibbling the greenery. Jack wasn’t sure what he’d do once the unicorn was completely invisible again– maybe Keith would be willing to give him another nip to keep things going.

Fluffy turned to glare at him and Jack hurriedly went back to his textbook. Remembering invisible unicorns existed was one thing, remembering they were telepathic invisible unicorns was something he was still having problems with. Even if they weren’t supposed to be reading his thoughts without permission.

There was an outraged snort from the unicorn.

“Fluffy, I don’t care what he’s thinking.” Sam snapped. “Any you,” she pointed at Jack with a pencil that she had forgotten to sharpen before pretending to study. “You dragged me out here so you could study, so study already.”

Half an hour of studying (and possible napping) later, Terry found them.


The dhamphire normally avoided direct sunlight and crowds, for personal rather than mythical reasons, so Sam didn’t need Fluffy’s mental nudge to warn her that Terry was in a rotten mood.


Sam,” Sam interrupted, stubbornly refusing to look up from pretending to study. The sun was too bright, it was still not noon yet, and she was in no mood to do battle with the minions of semi-darkness.

“We’ve got a problem.” Terry said, sitting down next to Jack who shuffled his textbooks so the dhamphire had room. “I think there’s a vampire in the area.”

“And?” Sam peered over the tops of her sunglasses, unimpressed. Terry tended to overreact when it came to personal peril, which was probably why he was so successful at staying only mostly-undead.

: And that’s something you should take seriously. : Fluffy’s mental voice had the warble to it that meant the unicorn was broadcasting and Jack flinched. It had taken Sam months to get used to the rumbling bass echo and her boyfriend was just starting his own learning curve. : Vampires are dangerous. :

Thankfully Jack seemed to take the supernatural in stride.

“But Terry hasn’t hurt anyone,” Jack objected, rubbing one temple and giving Fluffy an annoyed look as the unicorn ambled over from where he’d been nibbling the azaleas.

“Because I’m not a vampire!”

: Semantics. : snorted Fluffy. : Vampire, dhamphire– just because you’re still clinging to humanity doesn’t mean you won’t eventually snap. :

“So, there’s a vampire maybe?” Sam closed her textbook with an annoyed thump, cutting off the budding argument. “Why is this a problem again? The worst it’ll do is nibble on a few coeds and leave them craving juice and cookies.”

: They aren’t Bloodmobiles, they’re vampires. :

“Vampires rarely travel,” Terry said. “If one’s on the move it’s because a vampire hunter’s chasing it.”

“So wouldn’t the vampire hunter just kill the vampire– thus saving me from having to play Van Helsing?” Sam pushed the sunglasses up her nose as a stray sunbeam caught her and tried to decide if this meant Jack would want to study outside every Friday.

“Not if they’re shooting at us instead!” Terry snapped, “To them anything that’s not mundane belongs in a body bag.”

: Not unicorns. :

Sam sighed. “Why is it always my problem when this stuff happens?”

“Well, you are the one with the unicorn.” Jack pointed out.

: I say we let the vampire hunters take care of it. :

“And what are we supposed to do? Lie down and die?” Terry glared at the unicorn.

: Sounds good to me. : Fluffy laid his ears back and stomped the ground with a forehoof.

“What about the werewolves?” Jack tried to subtly shift so he wasn’t sitting directly between the two. “Or the dryad? He said non-mundanes– we’ve got plenty of those.”

“First, let’s find out if there even is a vampire.” said Sam. “No offense Terry, but there haven’t been any reported attacks–”

: or deaths :

“–or deaths, so let’s make sure what the problem is before we start throwing people to the wolves, err hunters.”

“I hate to ask, but how do we find a vampire?” Jack asked, starting to gather up his notes with a sigh.

“Easy, find the drunk people, find the vampires” chirped Sam, “and I know just the place!” She stuffed her notes haphazardly into her backpack.

“I thought you’d sworn off Delta Sigma Phi parties?” Jack muttered as Terry helpfully handed over a handful of the latest flyers.

“Only on Halloween.” She snorted, untangling herself from the bench “And if we’re going out tonight I need my sleep. Can’t be the terror that quacks in the night if I’m running on Red Bull and rum!”

“A, that tastes disgusting and b, it’s not even eleven yet,” Jack pointed out, but Sam was already half-way down the path to her dorm.

There was a long pause.

“Do you guys ever fight evil that isn’t nocturnal?” Jack finally asked.
Fluffy sighed.

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Martha Bechtel

My name is Martha Bechtel and I write fantasy and science fiction stories, paint small model horses silly colors, cast resin and plaster magnets, code random code (and Wordpress plugins)... Come on in and join in the fun!

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