In Dreams of Trees : Raptor Santa [PLOTBUILDING]

Wordcount: 1,056
Rating/Warnings: PG
Summary: Wordwar, plot-building for Blue’s group.

NOTE: This is a very rough draft with no editing at all (per National Novel Wiriting Month rules) and is presented for amusement value only. Think of it as a periscope into my writing process rather than a coherent story!

There will most likely be spelling and grammatical errors afoot as well as flat out bad writing, info dumps, plot holes, contradictions/retcons, uneven characterization and pacing. These snippits are also posted out of order, so please refer to the Outline to figure out where it’s supposed to fit.



So Jake gave me a plot of Raptor Santa and I was going to combine that with the theme from the SG:A drabble Tithe, which was the idea of chosen sacrifices and irony. It was meant to be a subplot for Blue, where he could leave the city, run into people who willing sacrifice the good of the one for the good of the many. Try and shake him out of the idea that anyone is a replaceable cog, no matter the circumstances.

And that is the exact mirror of Gray’s sub-story, which means that should work just fine in the overall arc of things. Although I was planning on using the run-in with Black’s group to fulfill that portion of the mirroring, hmm.

So, let’s see, Blue and Horn and Sara and Nathan head out through a tree, but not sure why. Maybe bringing the main medic along isn’t the best of ideas. So perhaps Nathan is either not as important or more important for some reason. You don’t send captains on away teams unless there is a solid reason behind it (other than ‘needs screen time’)

So they are exploring, for one reason or another, and run into the folks who have been left out for the predators to eat. Not sure if they are just leaving them out there so that they don’t hunt in the village or if they are poisoning the predators with them.

Blue and company go to let them out, but the older ones tell them to go away and the younger ones just want to get out before they die. There is some argument about it, but they won’t let Blue and his team get close enough to free them.

The predators come and against the groups wishes Blue and his team try to drive them off. They’ve explained what they are doing and Nathan wants to leave them alone but Blue and Sara are stubborn about saving them.

In the end it’s obvious that they can’t win and the group is forced to retreat and leave the folks to their doom. Which isn’t that much of a doom considering that they have been poisoned anyways and are going to die regardless of what Blue and his group do to try and save them.

Angry, the group continues in towards the town to figure out what the hell is going on and why they decided that this was a good way to solve the problem.

They get into town and have a what-for with the guards who are outside and that boils over into an argument with the folks inside. They do get to come in, but only because the folks inside are worried that the voices will attract the predators.

Once inside they get a history of the world and of the attacks and the careful balance that they’ve setup. The predators are wandering critters looking for nesting grounds, as long as they kill them off as they come by they will never nest here, which would wipe them all out. They are like salmon and birds and always return to the area where they were born for the winter.

Blue and Sara come up with lots of alternate plans, all of which have been used before. Horn and Nathan work their own magic and can’t come up with anything either.

There are some people in the town who want to go back to being nomadic themselves, where they just moved away from the predators as they migrated. But that was a more limited lifestyle and they didn’t have a chance to do much in the way of cultural advancement. So they are trading people for the chance to do science. More or less.

The world has no interest in the city or in any of the options that are being offered. They are polite but firm about wanting the team to leave as soon as the sun is up again. They are also unwilling to take any help that is offered, although Blue’s team can’t be positive where in the timeline they’d come back to if they tried to return.

Still, Horn and Nathan give them some ideas to think over, including the use of a alternate bait source, which they haven’t been able to find since humans are the largest prey animal left. Nathan manages to convince them to let them stay for a few days and study the predators on their own and see what they can learn.

The locals are convince, by Horn, not by anyone else, which annoys Blue to no end. But they are allowed to go, given some very basic provisions and sent out in the general direction of where more of them should be.

They do some field recon, check out the hunting style and whatnot of the predators. I’m not sure if I want them to find another way around the problem, it would ‘solve’ the local issue, but I like the idea that the locals solve the problems themselves somehow. But in Gray’s story that’s what he locals did, so maybe on this one we need some violation of the prime directive.

So let’s say that they find something, either a way to repulse the predators from the area or a way to kill them off-repulse seems better, since it avoids killing and that’s what Nathan would prefer. So they find catnip or something like it and they find some sort of repellant, either a small rodent that is really stinky (skunks!) or some sort of plant.

They come back with the findings and manage to convince the village to try and cultivate a breakwater between them and the migration paths. They are willing to try, but they don’t think it will work. Since it will take years to build up the barriers, they are stuck using the known working plans-which means more people will die.

Horn and Nathan manage to concentrate the poison that they are using, so at least fewer people will need to die to kill them off, but there isn’t much else they can do. Blue and Sara are still wanting to find another way, but Horn manages to convince them that it’s not possible.

They head back into the city, upset but sort of victorious, and lo, there’s a subplot for ya.

Martha Bechtel

My name is Martha Bechtel and I write fantasy and science fiction stories, paint small model horses silly colors, cast resin and plaster magnets, code random code (and Wordpress plugins)... Come on in and join in the fun!

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