Summary: Wordwar, Worldbuliding.
NOTE: This is a very rough draft with no editing at all (per National Novel Wiriting Month rules) and is presented for amusement value only. Think of it as a periscope into my writing process rather than a coherent story!
There will most likely be spelling and grammatical errors afoot as well as flat out bad writing, info dumps, plot holes, contradictions/retcons, uneven characterization and pacing. These snippits are also posted out of order, so please refer to the Outline to figure out where it’s supposed to fit.
Gray And Tan [WORLDBUILDING]
If we are working from the assumption that Gray and Tan are their world’s attempt at an organic computer akin to Atlantis, then there has to be more to the backstory than that. They can’t be Atlantis if they aren’t a city, but they are Atlantis in the methodology?
Maybe Gray and Tan are the first steps to the same kind of super computer; they are more of a proto-Atlantis than an exact clone. So they have limitations, flaws that would keep them from being able to take over the city themselves, even if they are very close to what she needs to be. They just don’t scale well, although they function as intended.
Which means there needs to be more in the plot to indicate that there is something different about her and her interactions with the city. It should be markedly different from all other interactions, since Gray and Tan are the only copies of Atlantis herself. They are the first door in which the city has started to make connections with other selves.
The city of trees is really just another Atlantis, as are the other cities that they have made contact with. Not all Atlantis’s are sane, or functional, or even pleasant to be around, but there are some common threads among them. John is not always the interface for the successful cities, but him and Red tend to be key players in the ones that did succeed.
Which really does make this a Stargate Atlantis fanfic, because lo, it is the John and Rodney show. And I’m not sure if that is a good thing-although neither John no Rodney is going to be that recognizable by the time this all is done. *pokes story*