I’ve been battling a nasty cold since last Wednesday (as if you couldn’t tell by the dramatic drop-off in content) and the only useful post I’ve managed to hack together it is this one.

And it’s about NyQuil™©®. Go figure.

I was stumbling my way through Farm Fresh, restocking my Die Cold Die cabinet, and noticed the new and improved safety label that now graces the NyQuil™©® and DayQuil™©® bottles.

Does it warn me to look for tampering? No.

Does it warn me to keep it safe from children? No.

Does it warn me that sometimes colds can be so evil that even NyQuil™©® can’t save me now? No.

No, this mighty safety seal has more important things to impart to the sniffling masses… namely that the store brands sitting next to it on the shelf Are Not Actually NyQuil™©®.

THE HORROR!

Just think! If I hadn’t been warned that these imposers weren’t actually NyQuil™©® I might have fallen for their siren call of ‘I only cost half as much! How the heck is that fair?? Seriously???’

After all, the faux-NyQuil™©® has the same color syrup, it has the same active ingredients, it does the same damned thing for half the cost… and I hate to break it to you Vicks™©®, but the only reason I choose the ‘real’ NyQuil™©® liquid is because I think it tastes better.

All you’re doing with your safety seal is sounding paranoid. Trust me, I noticed that the Vicks™©® logo is missing from the other things I bought.

I just didn’t care.