“I am the death of hope!”

“You are,” Amy rolled her eyes, “overly dramatic.”

“What bit of ‘death of hope’ did you not understand?” The Evil Wizard(tm) snarled, raising his Staff of Smiting (+3) in a manner which would have normally been quite intimidating.

“Well, if I understand the monologue right you are using the Orb of Infinite Power to control the Dragon of Infinite Wisdom, who in turn is controlling the Legions of Legion.” She ticked the points off on her fingers as she went. “Which, beyond being more plot coupons that any decent fantasy adventure really should have, is a pretty massive mistake.”

“Because one, you are relying on power to trump wisdom and how often does that actually happen in fairy tales? And two, you have an infinite number of followers which means no matter how wise the dragon is, and from what I’ve heard he’s pretty darned wise, he’s not going to able to handle every possible scenario that can come up with to escape control. This is, after all, a very easily distracted Legion.”

The Evil Wizard blinked.

“Now if you were thinking about it,” she continued, “Instead of just following your apparently horrible sense of thematic timing, you would have used the Staff of Shiny Objects to control the Legion, the Tome of Really Good Stories to bribe the dragon and the Orb of Infinite Power to bring favorable weather patterns, stop the more or less constant earthquakes, and thus convince the populace that you’re a better choice than their current leader.”

“Have you done this before?” The Evil Wizard had given up looking menacing and had settled into something akin to curiously perplexed. “And is it too late to get you to switch sides?”

“And three,” Amy grinned, “you really should check alignments before assuming the extraplanery travelers are heroes…”