“Alright, so think about it like this: if you don’t do what I want, I’m going to kill your dog.”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“And by ‘dog’ I mean ‘brother’.”

“Or a brother.”

“Close family members?”

“I’m an orphan.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Boyfriend, and no.”

“Well damn, you’re not making this easy.”

“We could always start dating, then you could kidnap yourself.”

“As tempting as that is… no.”