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Muse: So, lack of constructive writing aside, have you decided if the Dogs talk or not?

Jon: Inquiring minds want to know! *pause* Well, not really–

Writer: It would be easier if they did.

Muse: Not what I asked. *fishes beer from cooler*

Writer: Technically they don’t, I mean what kind of common ground would they have for even basic concepts? Much less actual language. *sighs at blank screen* But if they don’t talk then–

Muse: Then there’s a whole lot of world building the reader won’t ever see.

Writer: Well, not anytime soon anyways. In theory the ‘uberbond’ that Akela’s looking for will be more of a telepathic hivemind entity, at which point verbal linguistics are moot.

Jon: That does not sound like fun.

Writer: Magic companion humans don’t get a say, sorry.

Jon: I’m pretty sure this counts as fictive abuse.

Muse: You should see how she treats the other Johns.

Jon: Other Jons? *panicked look*

Writer: With an H, with an ‘H’! Calm down for for chistsake, there’s only one of you! Sheesh.

Jon: *is not comforted*

Muse: My point still stands.

Jon: I’m changing my name to Fred.

Writer: No you’re not, now go back to watching– wait, what is that?

Jon: The Young and the Restless

Writer: …

Muse: Why don’t just go over here and work on what’s getting cut while you two hash this out, kthkxbai. *flees*

Jon: I can haz freewill!

Writer: No you canz not. *grabs for remote*

Jon: Canz too. *sits on remote*

Writer: You realize this means war.

Jon: Bring it on.

It was a dark and stormy night…