Adventures weren’t supposed to begin in the middle of the afternoon. Dawn, dusk, high noon; those were all acceptable timeframes for dire prophecies to be told, or evil armies to attack. Actually, an eclipse would have been perfect, but sadly one wasn’t due for another two years. Hilagoth, soon to be the Dark Lord Hilagoth if things went well, surveyed the bustling town with a sigh. It was all so disappointing.

“My lord?” His evil henchman, Louie, tapped him politely on the shin. Hilagoth looked down, regretting once again that evil lizard steeds were so damned tall, and peered through the eye slits in his behorned helmet.

“Yes?” He needed to work on the hiss. More guttural, perhaps; with an overtone of certain doom.

“The army would like to know if we’re attacking now, if you don’t mind. It’s almost five and the evil wolves are getting a bit, err, peckish.”

“Dammitall, I told Benjamin to feed them before we left. Can’t anything go right today?” Louie just shrugged and Hilagoth reluctantly waved his arm to signal the attack. “Next time, I really want to give my ‘surrender or die; but we’re all out of surrender’ speech.”

And thus, the reign of Dark Lord Hilagoth began…